Spliting the Brain

A long time ago the Sperry labs introduced an interesting concept; the idea of left-brain and right brain cognitive modes. Supposedly, left-brain modes included logic, linear thinking, orderly reasoning, while right brain modes included creativity, intuition, irrational thinking, spirituality.

So which is music--left or right brain?

Both, most probably. Actually, probably certainly. You have to have a great deal of technical knowledge to play an instrument, although some people seem to do this intuitively, so there goes that theory. Or does it? Maybe I should get to the point, because there's pie in the kitchen, and I want to eat some when I finish. Piano playing requires both hands, and occupies both hands at the same time. Both hands are often playing different sequences of notes and chords at different speeds and rhythms. This seems impossible when you think about it, but with enough practice a good pianist makes it look effortless. Of course when I strangle the ivories, it make strong men weep and battle-scarred pit-bulls whine in commiseration.

Today at my lesson I exhibited my progress with The Entertainer. My teacher got down to the nitty-gritty. She said my right hand had it down pat (of course like my psychotherapist, I pay her a great deal of wampum to prop up the ramshackle infrastructure of my splintered ego) but now it was time to whip my left hand into shape. We went over the entire first verse, which is a page and a quarter long, note by note, the entire Bass clef. Now I'm practicing the Bass clef--the part of sheet music one plays with the left hand--with great focus and intensity. The idea is to bring it up to the same level of facility as the Right hand. I have a friend who applies this alternating-hands theory to another cherished activity, albeit one more private and libidinous, and which has absolutely nothing to do with music, or indeed with arts and entertainment of any kind (except his own entertainment, I suppose) and he swears to its efficacy in training the hands in equal proficiency in the requisite skills, so I'm optimistic.

It was proven some time ago that the Right-Brain Left-Brain model isn't a literal representation of how the brain works. Otherwise, all left handed people would be creative and all right handed people would be analytical. And what would you make of me, who was born all a-Widdershins but trained to be a Righty? Messed up, is what. However, the Right-Brain Left-Brain model stands quite well as a metaphor and a delineation of the dichotomy between intuitive and the analytical cognitive modes.

An interesting limitation of the human mind is we cannot call upon both Left-Brain and Right-Brain modes simultaneously, nor does either mode recognize the other. We have to switch back and forth between them. Apparently, women are much more facile at this than men, which is why in arguments women can oscillate between logic and irrationality with such blinding elan, men are soon reduced to babbling puddles of raw protoplasm. I'm not making this up, science has proven this in a number of studies, not to mention I once read it on the wall of the restroom at the Stuckies off I-75 in Jellico, so that proves it.

So what does one do when confronted with the daunting task of playing music? The strength of one's convictions alone may not be enough to carry the day. Consider this: Reading is a Left-Brain skill. Playing music, presumably, is a creative--hence Right-Brain, activity. So when you're attempting to read sheet music and play simultaneously, great facility dancing back-and-forth between Left and Right cognitive modes is required.

Which I've found difficult, especially when tired. Sometimes I'll stare at the page and all those little dots mean nothing, because I'm stuck in Right-Brain mode. I have to make a conscious effort before they shift and "talk" to me. Interesting. At least to me. I enjoy insights into how my creaky mind works, it helps me understand how to bypass its slow decent into decrepitude. I sometimes imagine my half-centuried brain as something similar to a barnacle-encrusted mass resembling the crud they scrape off the hulls of ships, or that calcified wad of gunk plumbers dislodge from pipes saying, "Dis wuz yer problem lady, dat'l be two hunnerd bucks."

So this week I'm training the Left hand. Which has nothing to do with Left Brain mode. Except when I'm reading the sheet music and trying to memorize it. Confusing? You should have tried to write about it. I fell asleep twice. Where's that pie?