Sunshine on my Shoulders Makes Me Glad I'm Not a Gliitery Gay Vampire

So I took Wife to see the midnight premier of Eclipse: the Twilight Saga Part Three. So there I sat in a theater full of teenage girls, middle-aged cougars (you know, older women who lust for bulging teenage boys, although Demi Moore has said she prefers the more dignified term Puma) and a smattering of middle-aged single men whose motives may best be left disinterred. My review, brief and pithy: What the hell? There is no story. Edward proposed marriage to Bella, which he did in the last two movies, and the audience cheered as though it were a long-awaited surprise. Jacob the sulky Werewolf ran around shirtless ( his one theatrical trick) and the audience of women of all ages howled like wolves themselves. Believe me, if a guy showed any interest at all in a girl that age, he would find himself summarily in handcuffs and on an internet database. Talk about double standards. I threatened to run around shirtless for a week, but I think the effect is diluted when you're a fifty-year old Native American, though my torso--especially my back--is as hairy as any werewolf's.

I long for the days of Buffy, where there was actually some very good, funny and often touching writing. Who can forget the scene where Angel decided to commit suicide-by-sunrise, and Buffy said if he were determined to do this thing, she would stand by his side as he became a crispy pile of ashy Angel. And then a miracle--it snowed. Redemption for the formerly damned in the form of a snowflake. And was there ever a more entertaining triangle than Buffy,Spike and Angel? Come on--Jacob and Edward are exactly the same character, just one of them wears a shirt, because poor Pattinson, while a fine actor, isn't very buff.

What's this to do with piano, you ask? Not much, except I could have been practicing. Oh well. I did have a good time. It's fun to get out with Wife once in a while since she works all night and sleeps all day. No wonder she has an affinity with Vampires.